LIFE...unedited

this is just one of the threads i started in one of the expat forums and so i thought of sharing poverty in mainland china is much depressing compared to the Philippines but my chinese students have better perception on what LIFE is all about..

»

---

this is what my students think of what LIFE is...

~~ my likes sea. My duty is making it keep blue. My life likes desert. my duty is making it green. so i have to work very very hard. although im very tired,i cant give up

~~ Life is likes a sea. we all sail in it.

~~ In the most of the highschool in china, the school is monotonous. we walk the same ways everyday.

~~i ll fly highter and highter,though i may fell down. im not afraid of it...

~~...i love a girl,but inorder to have a future,i have to get away from her-100 kilometers away. there all becasue of chinese education,but we must face it.

~~ Life is colorful,and it's for everyone. no matter how difficult your life is,it's yours. you should love it.

~~...so we all need other's help. others give you help,why don't you say "thank you!" to them?

~~ i think the life whould be filed with happiness. a family and a job are OK,e can also help others and make a little contribution to the country.

~~ i want to live in a sea like a fish but without a net.

~~ life might make a great great man degraded

~~ i want to live in a big house which has a big windows near the sea,and i can see the sea everyday and i will live a happy life.

~~The commmon life is everyone's right,but living a happy life is my special right

~~..life just likes a bottle of water,you should put something into it, or it will have no meaning.

~~ everything that we have experienced is the stone on the road.

~~ Life means struggling. we struggle for that we like things

~~Dont give up when are upset. you're the best.

~~ we should our hearts into our life,then we will become the useful people to our country.

~~ what is life? sorry,i dont know because i dont go thru much.

~~ life is everything,or life is everything

~~ Id like a life with a person whom i love and loves me.

~~ i think life is very difficult. because when i grow up,ill have to make a living. i have to study hard now. i cant imagiune what my life will be like.

~~ Life becomes more wondefor bcause of defeat

~~ Life is sad when you come to the world. Life is beautiful when leave the world.

~~ Life is an expecting competition.

~~ life is a kind of duty

~~ LIFE IS OUR LOVER

~~Many people say their life is boring,because they just dont find the funny thingd around them

~~ Live in a False position For Education

~~ A good life should have a good wife,lots of foods,a cute daughter

~~ Life needs insist. Life likes a flower and it very beautiful but very short

~~ Life is what a person is all about

~~Life is a long trip. just enjoy the things along the trip

~~ in china,at school the students dont have freedom,so the life of us is boring,the only thing we should do is study.

~~ Sometimes i think about what we live for,but i never get the answer. or even i maybe more puzzled. so that i believe,all i will do is to live the way i enjoy,to live simply.

~~ life is something that sometimes i dont want to have. i think its hard for me live a pleasant life.


....crushed me....

the silent hopeFUL

i didnt watch the barack obama inaugural last night but i made sure na makakacatch up ako kahit delayed telecast.

much to what we call luck, ininterview si collin powell sa isang newdcast abroad (my bad for forgetting the the broadcast company's name) regarding the plans of mr. barack and they were talking about the possible closure of the 'GUANTANAMO BAY'...i was delighted to hear that although they're still thinking of ways on how to pursue that plan.

anyone who will watch the docus regarding this evil-laden place would want to have it closed..even GRAAB..

spent much of my time in CHINA wacthing different docus of the 9/11..GUANTANAMO BAY..GRAAB..all of MICAHEL MOORE'S docus..and yeah i became one of his avid reader (he writes books) viewer (his docus). I learned a lot.

the last time i read the news,the guards who abused the prisoners are serving what is appropriate for them.

I hope that justice be served to people who were just suspected and even those who are guilty (who were treated more than like wild animals)...

we are still HUMANS...

(jan.09)

walk of FAITH

I GOT QUITE LOST…LOST IN THE MYRIAD OF A RESTING TREE THRU A SHADY WINDOW.

HOW CAN I EVER GET OVER A HEART WRECKING SCENE? HOW CAN THAT PERSON EVER SLEEP SEEING HIS GROWING KIDS WITHOUT FIRM DOCK TO HOLD ON TO?

IM IN A DEEP TURMOIL OF UNDERSTANDING THE LEVEL OF PEOPLE’S “UNDERSTANDING…”

IT’S BREAKING ME SEEING HIM TURN HIS BACK FROM US N A LIMPING MANNER FROM THE PEOPLE WHO ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE LEFT WITH A JOB.

THE HORIZON MIGHT BE INFINITE BUT HOW CAN HE SEE THE WIDTH OF WHAT GOD HAS INSTORE FOR HIM WHEN THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS THEM SURVIVING IS TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM?

(jan.09)

when sadness visits me

I turn to the calming embrace of the night…

Isolate myself to the darkness..leaving that slightest glimmer of light coming from my PC.

I just let each melody of my favorite slow songs encapsulate my whole being..

Drowning myself into a total emancipation..

Feeling each word that comes out of my brain…allowing my a bit of disturbance from the black tinted keyboard..

So if I feel empty and rejected…I succumbed to mental seclusion on this leather swivel chair…letting solace clinch my very soul…outpouring words that are inspired by the eventual rest of my corrupted mindset…

I inhale every sad lyrics that hit the silent air..letting it go thru my veins…they shrink like sedatives that calm my inner core…

Then I close my eyes feeling the effect of such self-directed meditation..then eventually surrendering to serenity…

isang mahalagang aral

Mahina ako sa petsa at hindi ako ang tipo ng taong babalikan ang kalendaryo mabigay lamang ang tamang datos sa isang factual na sulatin.

Ang alam ko hinagupit ng bagyong Ondoy ang Pilipinas partikular na ang kalakhang Manila.

Hindi ako natulog ng gabing yon. Ang alam ko lang buhay ang pusong binuo at pinatibay ng bwat sagipa t lingcod kapamilyang nasamahan ko.

Bagamat wala na ako sa kapmilya network, alam ko sa puso ko na mahalagang isabuhay at ipagpatuloy ang isang mahalagang aral na aking natutunan sa bawat boksayong pinagmulan.

Sa unang gabi ng pagbulusok ng bagyong Ondoy hindi ako napikit dahil alam kong magbibigay ng update ang network na dating kinabilangan ko. Nanlumo ako sa mga eksenang tumambad sa akin. Wala ako doon pero ramdam ko ang pbawat hagupit at epektong dulot ng bagyong Ondoy…Dahil hindi lang miminsang naransan ko ang ganitong trahedya…

Una ay noong nakaraang taon kung saan binubuo naming ang pagtayo ng WOWOWEE sa Lingayen,Pangasinan kung saan handa na ang lahat ngunit kinabukasan ay dumating ang bagyong **. Naiwan kami nina Ma’am Janice, Kuya Zilmer (driver), Caloy (OJT/PA) at ilan pang mga kung tawagin naming ay parusa boys sa Lingayen Gulf..kitang kita naming ang malalaking alon na lumamon sa stage na tinayo naming…mga punong nabuwal at mga bahay na natatanggalan ng bubong…

Pangalwa ang bagyong Cosme kung saan ang bahaging Bolinao,Bani at Alaminos naman ang binayo. Kami ni Ma’am Terry (Public Service Officer ng ABS-CBN) ang kauna unahang nagdala ng supplemental feeding sa mga lugar nay un..kasama lamang ang aming driver. Nakapanlulumo ang bawat eksenang tumambad sa amin…walang bahay ang nakaligtas…mga buhay na nawala..

At sa iba’t-ibang proyektong pagtulong ng GUK pa ang nasamahan ko. Hindi ito parte ng responsibilidad ko bilang Marketing and Events Assistant pero alam kong ito ang ikabubuo ng pagkatao ko bilang staff ng isang higanteng kumpanya na may kakayahang maglingkod sa mahihirap.

At dahil sa mga karanasang ito hindi nawala ang mga iniwang turo ng Public Service team sa akin. Alam kong tungkulin ko pa rin ang tumulong kahit wala na ako sa posisyon kung saan mas marami akong magagawa. Nagtext brigade ako sa mga kaibigan at batchmates at hindi nila ako binigo. Nag ambag-ambag kami para makakalap ng kahit konting tulong…

Napakaliit ng kakayahan ko ngayong mag organize ng ganitong tulong pero alam kong makakapwi na rin ito sa mga hirap ng ating mga kababayan…

At ang pusong ito nabuo sa mga karanasang pinabatid ng mga aral na natutunan ko sa sagip at lingkod kapamilya events…

the road LEAST travelled

(date: 10.19.2009)

Sometimes, certain of GOD’s blessings arrive by shattering all the windows…(BRIDA-paulo coehlo)

This day serves as the 13^th anniversary of Camp John Hay Development Corporation and with the harsh conditions of the “typhoon Pepeng” victims in Baguio and Benguet, the management and its staff concurred on spending this commemorative day on an outreach activity in Bokod,Benguet.

Prior to our trip to Tublay, the local government unit already informed us that Coros and Labey receive the least attention from the government and organizations. With this in mind, we decided to penetrate these areas knowing that they must be in dire need of our help.

I never imagined how Mother Nature spells its wrath to humankind…it is something that my range of vocabulary cannot articulate…

We chose LABEY,Bokod, Benguet as one of our recipients for CJH DEVCO’s “Typhoon Pepeng” relief operations for the reason that it was the remotest area in Tublay and we were the third organization yet that dared to permeate the area…without retreating seeing the odds we all possibly can encounter.

I was there…sixteen of our staffs were there…

We went there with the least anticipation of how wrecked the place is.

The townsmen, who served as our guide, told us that it would take us a maximum of one and a half hour of hike in order to reach the evacuation area.

Each of our male staff carried a sack of relief goods that can serve three families…some of them brought a carton of medicine or bottled water.

We started hiking at around 12 noon without having our lunch; this was simply because we could not wait for the meal to be cooked that would entail more time to be wasted.

The team patiently trekked the almost bald mountain under the scorching heat

of the sun and rocky terrain. The nature’s fury was apparent thru every road cuts that separated the sitio from the road…deep ravines welcomed our unsuspecting team that made it quite harder for us to cross every road cut.

Amidst the uncertainty and possible danger that this course will bring us, we were all affirmative of the eventual consequence of bringing help to the secluded victims of the typhoon Pepeng.

In between the slog were short rests with encouragement from each other that these sacrifices will bear meaning after we reach the isolated sitio of Labey.

It could have been a day of rest and retreat for everyone since it was supposed to be the anniversary but they were out in an unfamiliar place sharing what they have with all the immeasurable efforts that the team demonstrated under a distressed situation.

It would be an overstatement to mention that almost every kilometer of the 10-12 kilometer we traversed relates a surviving story among the staff…but it was what this story is all about.

Seeing supervisors, engineers, and CJH DEVCO staff carrying a heavy load of relief heavies my sight but the exuberance of being able to get somewhere we do not have a clue about make each step less easier.

The searing heat of the sun and the unending curve of changing rocky and muddy detrimental path caused us more than physical twinge but also the 16-manned team thru our own commune vicariously experienced desperation for a situation that happened to the townsmen…that with the disaster stricken environment.

Our men excruciatingly passed each ravine that only the size of a foot fits…

After reaching the site, we just endorsed the relief goods and left after just few minutes of conversation with the townsmen since the heavens do not seem to agree with our intention of taking some rest.

The school in Labey was totally damaged. The whole area is a panorama of the after effect of a daunted community…Seeing the people being relieved made it a worthwhile experience…hearing them say that we were the only team that dared to reach them was more than gratitude can say.

We took the same path going to the supposed “short cut”…, which literally meant surpassing the mountain that will eventually connect us to the lights of civilization…

We were barely dragging ourselves to reach a flat area where we could stretch out our feet and be in an eternal emancipation..even for just few moments…

On our way back..erm..taking the supposed “shortcut”, we didn’t have choice but to munch on guavas that were the solely available “meal” for the wandering beings…

The heavens got darker…rains start plummeting…the wind’s breath got unbearably colder…and our path got more impossible to recognize...

I almost gave up after seeing the entire muddy almost minuscule path we had to pass to reach the place where we left the two pick-ups. We all got mud all over…our shoes all literally soaked in dark brown sticky soil.

The three of us (Dona, Evita and I) were lucky enough to have been with the guys who never left our side and patiently took care of us even if they were also in the verge of mishap…

All those times that we weren’t sure of what might happen, we were just uttering silent prayers…whatever each of us mumbled…surely…GOD did listen..=)

A prayer, when couched in the words of the soul, is far more powerful than any ritual…(BRIDA-paulo coehlo)

Lost in Translation

(di po ito English..nanghiram lang po ako ng titulo)


Noong estudyante pa ako mas pinipili kong umupo sa likuran, ung lugar kung saan hindi pansin ng guro. Di naman ako bobo dahil nasa listahan pa rin ako ng mga nangunguna sa klase,un nga lang madalas mas gusto kong makipag usap sa mga katabi. Ni minsan hindi ako nachallenge sa mga usaping maaari ko namang mahanap sa bawat dahon ng aklat. Mga bagay na maaari kong alamin mag isa dahil matatagpuan naman sa bawat pahina ng libro.

Masasabi kong hindi naman ako naligaw sa mga aralin. Sapagkat pag estudyante ka at madami kang katanungan tungkol sa inyong leksiyon at alam mong hindi na kayang arukin ng guro mo ang punto mo, maaari ka na lang mag self study at para dina mabulabog ang isip ng edad deka dekada nang maestra.

Pag abot ko ng kolehiyo, medyo nabulabog ang noo’y akala kong sapat ng nilalaman ng aking utak. Intimidated ako ng bahagya dahil may mga lessons na huli ang mga estudyanteng galing sa pampublikong paaralan. Pero di naman nagtagal ay nakaadjust din ako. Pero ganun pa rin ang sistema ng utak ko. Ipon ng grades sa prelims at midterms na kahit maka 70 ka sa finals ay alam mong pasado ka na pag sinuma total. Yun ang nagging teknik ko para mas may oras sa paglasap sa tunay na kahulugan ng buhay kolehiyo.

Nagtapos naman ako sa oras. Nakapagtrabaho agad. Una bilang guro ng wikang English sa mga akademya. Di naman ako nahuli sapagkat mataas naman ang mga resulta ng TOEIC exams ko. Ibig sabihin magaling naman ako ng bahagya sa ingles. Sa dami ng nakakalat ng libro sa bahay namin (na katas ng dugo’t pawis ko) na hindi naman props lang para magmukhang intelektwal. Grade six pa lang ako ay nabasa ko na ang mga libro ni Sidney Sheldon. Kaya confident naman akong ang salitang “integridad” ay hindi ko na kelangan ikonsulta kay Ginoong Webster.

Nais kong iligaw ang kabuuan ng aking kwento dahil may mga matang sensitibong maaaring magkomento pag tinamaan.

Gumising ako isang araw hawak ang isang bagay kung saan nakasulat ang mga “values” na pinaniniwalaan ng napasukan kong kumpanya at mahal ko naman talaga.Naging paksa pa nga ito ng makailang ulit sa ilang pagpupulong. Isa isang tinatanong ang bawat tao sa komperensya sa ibig sabihin ng mga salitang nakasulat doon. Napakadali naming ipaliwanag ang bawat isa.

Madaling ipaliwanag. Verbal.

Mahirap Makita.

Ang salitang integridad ang tanging sumubok sa noo’y nagtatalo kong isip sa kahulugan nito sa bawat diksyunarong aking nakonsulta. Ayon sa “the little OXFORD” dictionary na aking nabili sa Hongkong Airport, ang kahulugan ng salitang “integrity” ay HONESTY,WHOLENESS at SOUNDNESS…in short, need I expound?

Hindi ba’t sa simpleng transliteration nito ay “katapatan” hindi lamang sa nakatataas kundi maging sa mga pilit nagtitiwalang mga empleyado sa kakayahan ng isang lider? Ngunit paanong ang isang nagsisimulang tignan ang mundo sa isang mas malinis na mikroskopyo ay puro bahid ang nakikita?

Ayon sa isa sa anim na librong binabasa ko ngayon, ang mga taong magaling at mahilig magsinungaling ay maaaring mabaliw..ng literal. At kung bakit may mga taong handang talikuran ang katotohanan para sa sariling kapakanan yan ay hindi kayang arukin ng simple kong pag iisip na namulat sa simpleng paniniwalang ang katotohanan ang magpapalaya sa bawat nakakulong na kasinungalingan.

At ang ngumiting parang aso at kumampi sa mali ay isang malaking kahunghangan. Marahil ito ang dahilan bakit marami ang kalat sa lipunan.

Kaakibat ng pagsasabi ng totoo ay ang paninindigan sa mga pangakong binitiwan. At ang sinumang hindi marunong manindigan sa mga “matatapang” na salitang lumabas sa isang makapangyarihang bibig ay walang pinagkaiba sa sinungaling. Isang epidemya na maaaring magpalala ng isang dati ng sakit.

Malamang isa ito sa mga kadahilanan bakit may mga taong kailangan ang “sleeping pills” upang makatulog. Ganito din ako, mahirap makatulog pag may nagawang labag sa aking paniniwala at pananampalataya. Ngunit sa tanang buhay ko, wala pa akong inapakang tao para lamang manatili sa isang parte ng mataas na lipunan.

Ano ang silbi ng pagsisimba? Ang pagbisita sa bawat simbahang madadaanan kung alam mong sa kaibuturan ng iyong puso ay nilalabag mo ang maraming kautusan ng Diyos tungkol sa iyong kapwa? Isang bulag na pananampalataya.

At sa susunod na tatanungin ako kung ano ang kahulugan ng salitang “integridad” ay ito lamang ang aking masasabi “integrity is when people don’t look at you as if u have nothing good in u except your clothes”

Love Beyond

Someday I’ll be gone

I won’t forever be seen

My voice won’t be heard

But I’ll pray hard to Him

That he would hear the

Slightest beat of my heart

Love doesn’t end with death

I long that he’ll forever feel

That untarnished love

Until the day he finds someone

Who could replace my me

Then and only then that

My heart will finds its way

Back to my grave

...and take its rest...

Death of the Heart

why do hearts die along with the death of a person? Why does it have to stop beating? Does it mean that all emotions end there?

How about the wonder of Love? If I die will I still continue loving someone even in my grave? Or will the feeling end there?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that love will remain abstractly remain around that special person...unseen yet felt? Can it not survive on its own?

Are only the living who have the capacity to love? If yes, then love is just something physical...controlled by the mind that when people die their hearts rest with them..

Will there be no emotions on the other side?

I wish there will be no end to it..

Fear for the Unknown

What if I die tomorrow? Will I be spared from eternal damnation? Would reading a daily devotional save? How about my constant conversation with God?

I don’t live a healthy life.

I smoke. I don’t eat proper food. I don’t exercise. I don’t get enough sleep.

Sometimes I think bad about other people and I say bad things about them too.

I think too much.

I maybe a bad grass but I might not live long either. I might perish consciously. Or lest, i might suffer from a terribe disease. I’m gonna live to witness my body rot to death,

I know I’ve never been careful about my health and that could simply be equated too NOT loving one’s self.

Everybody will die.

If I’m lucky enough there might be people crying over my grave. Or, people who will feel sorry about my demise. But all these are visious cycle. After just few months, people will become sober again. They will just visit my grave during the all souls and saint’s days. And eventually be left in oblivion.

I know that will happen.

I mean I have no heroic deeds that will make me a hsitorical person who will be written down on the pages of books. I haven’t been good to anyone- not enough ti be engraved in one’s heart..

and because he smiled

And Because He Smiled

It was a Wednesday when I decided to take a cab going to work because I was physically dragged. It has been my habit to walk-giving me a keener observation of the environment and of course the chance to visit Mr. Spider in his chosen territory.

But this specific day I chose to take a cab-feeling worn out. Since my mind was preoccupied with nothing but passive glancing I got to realize something simple yet moving...

The cab stopped infront of government office for quite sometime, enuogh for my tears to voluntarily drop. There was this guy who regularly stands there holding a signage for tourists looking for transient rooms. If you’re a soul aho curses traffic, you won’t really notice him. He seems to be mentally challenged...wears torn-dirty clothes. Drools. But these features don’t make him particularly “special.” It’s the way he genuinely smiles on passers by.

Lots of things dawned on me.

How many times do we fret about our problems and affect other people.

When did we show our gratitude to people who came offering their friendship?

When was the last time you smiled because your dog did something stupid?

Or have you even taken a jiff thinking why morning dews look like crystals from a distance?

And how can some people bear grudge over others?

There was just much peace on his face-too much that it comforted my oblivious heart.

I wonder if how many of us who regularly saunter down Session Road notice the beggars not because they somehow annoyingly occupy space on the streets but because you just stopped and said a little prayer for them.

We are missing alot of life’s simple and great gifts because we are plunged into our worries that we forget the worth of what we have.

The tears that feel that day were so precious because it reached my heart. Now, I don’t only walk along that road touching the plants, listening to the perfectly tuned chirping of birds and collecting dews on the tip of my fingers but I have also learned to appreciate every gestire from otehr people.

Lfe’s greatness is seen better in the eyes of those who see it.

It sounds absurd when we end something that has not happened yet.

It is not too often that people choose to look beyond the first impression that a new comer makes. And worst, how some people create a personality out of a stranger according to how they were conditioned to see that person.

untitled

I sit alone understanding why unexpected things happen.

When we are stricken with something we don’t have a clue about

We start to ask whether we deserve it at all...

But then I see a ray of light...

A better way of my Creator saying

“cause YOU can

I did not burden you with that

I just knew you can get thru the trail

With such load”

Then I kneeled

Bowed down

Then prayed...

Now I understand,

I am YOUR son and YOU have trusted me

And with this

I thank YOU instead,

(inspired by rocky ngalob)

A Teacher’s Feat

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child. ~Carl Jung

I was stunned by a segment of “Wish Ko Lang” last Saturday about a teacher who became a scavenger after six years of teaching. He literally lost everything...his family,job and most of all his identity.

His misery started when the school he was working at had to remove him from his job for the reason that he is not a board passer. That fateful event changed his life eventually. His wife left him. He became the opposite of what he used to teach his students- a drunkard.

Then I start to ponder.

Almost all the institutions right now require board passers or M.A or Ph.D holder for teachers and instructors. This applies to both national and international standards.

Does not having these certification make a teacher less of a “teacher?”

Many of his students have attested that he has made a tremendous positive influence on their lives.

Does having these certificates makes someone a better teacher?

So a real teacher’s dream ends there. When he can’t pass his board he remains stagnant and won’t be accepted in the vocation he was called to pursue? Or if someone doesn’t have an MA or PhD tagged on his name, he doesn’t have the license to be and educator?

He then ended up as a scavenger in his place when he could have been inside the classroom doing what he was supposed to do. He could have saved more lives instead of destroying his.

Can we blame him for resorting into such misery?

I am a teacher. I am in the middle of contemplating to whether or not continue with my masters. But if I don’t, like him, I have to leave the premises of the institution I am rendering my services right now.

Like him, I have learned to embrace my craft. I have learned to love my students and have nothing in mind but to make them as competitive in the media world or wherever their path will take them.

Is not having the passion to mold an individual to a wonderful being not enough to consider someone a “qualified” teacher?

Does not having these titles tagged in one’s name make him incompetitive or less credible?

I am NOT against any institution’s requirements or policies. I just hope we see beyond what the “titles” tell about a person.

TrApO

Madalas tumambay ang aking kaisipan.

Tumitigil kung saan tamaan ng dahilan upang mahapo.

Mula ng magkaisip ako at natutong sumulat ng mga kathang isip ng kwentong minsan ay totoo ngunit mas madalas ay likha ng guni guni ay naging tambayan ko na ang pag iisa.

Madalas sa mga coffee shop. Mabilis akong makabuo ng mga kung anu anong sulatin habang ako ay humihigop ng kape habang humihitit at nagbubuga ng usok ng yosi. Walang problema sa mga ganitong lugar...kanya kanyang buhay. Kanya kanyang pinagkakaabalahan.

Minsan naman ay sa apat na sulok ng aking maliit ngunit luntiang kulay na kwarto. Apol green ang gusto kong kulay ng dingding ko ewan ko at pag uwi ko ay dark green..pasalamat na lang ako at hindi neon green. Dito, tahimik...akin ang mundo. Si Pido, ang aming daschund, lang naman ang pag nakaisip ay aakyat at didiretso sa aking kwarto. Hahalukipkip sa aking pink na comforter. Pagkatapos nun dalawa na kami sa munti kong mundo. Pero, ok lang yun...tahimik naman ang pandak na asong ito.

Bilang isang nagpupumilit na manunulat at nagpupumilit ipagsiksikan ang sarili sa mundo ng ARTS sumubok ako ng ibang tambayan.

Napadaan ako sa isang kalyeng sa aking alaala ay medyo may konting hawi ng pamilyaridad. Mukhang tahimik. Ah, marami sigurong inspirasyon dito. Iba ibang kwento. Mga kwentong may saysay. Marami naman. May mga tulad ko ding naghahanap ng dahilan ng kanilang paghinga sa mundo. May mga iilang sa tingin ko ay nasa puso ang pagtambay dito. Ang iba naman ay parang wala lang magawa sa buhay at ang iilan ay walang mapuntahan.

Naupo ako.

Nabingi.

Muntik pang maging tuod.

Iisa ang palahaw ng bawat taong dumadaan.

Pinili kong panatilihin ang kulturang natutunan ko sa mga nakasanayan kong tambayan.

Hanggang ang bulung bulungan ay lumakas.

Nabingi ako lalo.

Mukhang ako naman ang inspirasyong nahanap nila.

Isang pain sa mga nilalang na hayok sa kwentong barbero.

Ako ang naging laman ng bawat pahina ng librong kanilang sinusulat.

Walang nagawa ang headphone kong pilit na bumubingi ng magagandang musika sa aking teynga.

Mas malakas ang palahaw nila.

Napapatingin ako.

Sinubukan kong basahin.

Eh, pwede nang ihabla ng libelo ang kung sinumang publisher ng librong walang pamagat ngunit kulay ng sumasagisag ng perversion.

Natawa ako. Akala ko pag mga nagpapanggap na matalino ang gumagawa ng libro ay umiiwas sa salitang “sensationalism” pero sa tagal ko ng nagbabasa ng libro (walong taong gulang) ay ngayon lang ako nakabasa ng lathalaing walang nakalagay na tama.

May mga nakabasa.

Natawa sila.

Natuwa ako.

Artistahin ang dating ng kwentong gawa sa HINDI malikhaing isip ng mga nagpupumilit maging manunulat ang nilalaman ng bawat pahina nito. Nahabag ako. Mabuti na lang at hindi dumaan sa mga kamay ko ang produktong gawa sa HINDI talaga malikhaing isip ng bawat manunulat na ito..

Kung nagkataon...hindi lang bagsak sa writing class ko ang abot ng kung sinumang nagpasimuno ng ideyang ito.

Nawa’y matutunan nila ang leksyong ito: ang dignidad ay hindi nasisira ng anumang salitang nakapaloob sa walang saysay na libro o lathalain.