It's been three years and I haven't taken myself back since then.

I am not happy having my kids around and that's the truth. I've been trying my best to accept that I am now a mom of two boys. It used to dream having kids of my own but having them right now feels like doom to me.

I admire those women who seem to be very proud and content being a mom. I AM NOT. I WANT to want to become a mom. I even pretend to be complete with them but im NOT.

People don't see what I have become right now. My family never in a moment felt my emptiness. I am busy earning not for living but for surviving-for the responsibilities of being a mom that has become a burden to me.

It's been a long time that I've been empty. I REGRET everything that happened three years ago. It destroyed me. It changed me. I am SHATTERED and no one ever noticed.

Many times I have thought of leaving this world my way and it seems easy. Friends and famous people have done it. Look, they're spared from all those pains they were hiding from.

Imagine an unknown world where everything speaks of bliss...completeness...serenity. A place that offers the meaning of existence-where you don't need anyone to understand and fill your being.

Don't judge those who chose to end their lives- they have reasons only like them understand.

I am so tired of all the noise.

There's NO peace in here.


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